What Remains

I PULL UP to an old, shitty gas station in the middle of nowhere.

I figure this'll be my last stop.

Maybe this'll make me feel better about myself?

Maybe It'll stop this feeling?

I park and get out of my car, slamming it behind me. I slug into the waste station, already eyeing the cashier.

"Hi, I'd like to purchase a lottery ticket, Power-ball, please. And can I get those smokes right above you?"

The cashier, too enamored with his cell, gives me my items and waves weakly. I go out into the now cool exterior. I sit in my car, staring at the lottery ticket.

Nope.

I still feel like shit and some piece of gambling paper won't help me.

Help this hammering feeling.

I drive a few miles down the road. The bridge is vacant and foggy. I park my car once again, staring out into the unknown below. I grab my smokes and head to the edge of the bridge. I sit at the end with my feet hanging at the side of the road. I pull out my smokes, quickly igniting the cancer. I puff until my lungs feel as though they'd collapse. A stark tear rolls down my face.

This isn't the fucking time.

The smoke masks my face, thick as the white air around me. I thought about a letter, but who'd read it?

No one cares about me.

A gust of wind flows through my hair and distinguishes the cig flame. I stand up, tears saying their goodbyes as they leap into the cold below. I take out the cig and toss it down the bridge. I close my eyes tightly and allow nature to take its course. My body goes limp and slides down the air. Everything stays black.

No tunnel lights, just obscurity.

I wake up and see a figure in the distance. I slowly approach it. It's a man sitting at a bonfire.

"H-hello?"

The man looks up from the fire and smiles plainly.

"Hi stranger."

"Um, who the hell are you and what is this place," I firmly ask.

The man sits up straight, he moves his hands through the sand.

"I'm the harbinger of life."

"The...what? So you're telling me that you're ‘death?’"

The man looks back down at the flame and shrugs.

"That's bullshit," I scream at the man and begin to run in the inverse direction.

I run for hours it seems, but I keep running back to the man at the bonfire.

"You can't escape this."

"This? What the hell is this!?"

"You know what you did earlier, you are the cause and this is your effect."

"Wait...so you're saying that I’m...dead," I ask as I slowly hang my head.

The man wipes his hands on his plain clothes.

"You made the jump, stranger."

I look down, sadly confused.

"Everyone dies, friend."

He looks up at me, smiling plainly.

"But I-"

"the lottery ticket you purchased, it had some winning numbers. Wow, 11 million."

"Wait wha-"

"your wife called you hours after your jump, after months of not talking, she still loved you and was hoping for reconciliation."

"Stop it, shut the hell up!"

Tears try to form, but only dry dust slides down my face.

"Why are you telling me all this," I ask.

"Because everyone wants to know."

"Know what, dammit!?"

"Know about how life moves forward after they're gone."

I place my hands on my face.

"No, no, this can't be happening. Where are the rest of the people in the world?"

"All die alone, friend."

I fall on my knees.

"What about God, religion??"

"All a distraction from the end. Heaven, hell, they do not exist, and in the end, there is nothing."

Tears try to form, but again only dust slithers down my face. I try to sniff, but nothing is in my nose.

"Emotions and feelings are eliminated here. You do not need them in this place."

My face goes numb, blank. I rise from the sand and sit adjacent to the harbinger.

"Everyone dies," I mutter slowly.

The bonfire is scorching and the air is cold, but in the end, I feel nothing.